Author: wesurviveditall

I saw this quote and it’s so very true. It didn’t take me as long as I thought to learn to live without him but oh my does it feel good.

However living with what he did to me is a different story. I bottled it all up for so long and only now with the help and support from a fantastic therapist and my family can I begin to deal with what happened and try and move on.

It’s hard with a possible court case on the horizon but I’m doing my best, some days are easier than others. Some days I want to give up and leave it all but I know he needs to be taught he cannot get away with what he has done to me.

I’m slowly learning to live with the life I had with him, slowly but I’m getting there ❤

I moved back in with parents after taking a career change almost two years ago.

Ofcourse he knows where this is, infact this is where I lived when I met him so this is where he sees the vulnerable young girl I once was.

Usually I’m busy, with work, my social life and visiting family but my mums gone away leaving just my daughter and I alone.

Although I feel alone most nights, actually living here alone is different. It’s uncomfortable and scary, unnerving and worrying.

My daughter’s seven and I’ve had her sleep with me each night, sad really that her own mother is frightened that much but the truth is, as any seven year old does, she’s told him were alone

Nanny’s gone away, so now he knows. He knows I’m back to being my weakest. So a week with barely any sleep, falling asleep to the screen of the CCTV and awakening at every little noise.

I’m not sure how I’ll move back out again and live alone. This is something I’m yet to discover how to deal with.

Exactly what it says in the title, what will be will be.

When I met my ex partner I was a young care free student, I had no real responsibilities but it all changed very quickly.

I grew up very quickly, we became parents which was simply the best thing in the world. Little did I know that was the turning point for us, that was when I began to realise our relationship, the person I loved and had bought a child into the world with wasn’t who I thought.

I was strong enough eventually with the help of my family and friends to break free and leave.

This was only the beginning for me though, since then I have let him back in time and time again believing he would change. He never did.

Eventually, 5 years since we seperated I spoke out, I went to the police and reported him.

This long and drawn out process is still ongoing and some days it’s so difficult to believe there is still light at the end of the tunnel but other days I look back and remember why I’m doing what I’m doing.

It may all come to nothing and he may walk away from it all. If that happens I am a firm believer that what will be will be, nothing I can do now will change anything and I just have to have hope and faith in the justice system for now ❤️

Day One.

Finally, I feel brave enough to speak out. Having battled with myself and inner demons for a long while after removing myself from an abusive relationship this is all a big deal for me.

I am 27 years old, for almost three years of my life I lived with a monster, someone that I had met and fallen in love with, someone I believed loved me and someone I let in.

Only now do I see that that person didn’t love me, he tortured me, he broke me down into such tiny pieces it’s taken years to put myself back together again.

This blog is for both men and women in either the same boat I’m in now, the boat I was in shortly after meeting him and questioning our relationship or the boat I hated most, the one I left him on. Whichever one you’re on, let’s travel together and help eachother along this long old journey. A journey I can finally see an end to and I can’t tell you how relieving that is to say ❤️