I have an image of where I’d like to be, how happy I would like to be with my little family.
We are all brought up with an image of a perfect little family. My family will forever be far from perfect.
I’d like to meet someone, for them to wrap their arms around me, protect me and treat me the way I wish he had. I’d love more children, a secure and happy home for my daughter and any brothers and sisters she may be blessed with having.
I can’t see that, I worry that he’ll ruin it. So far every new relationship I have attempted to build he has ruined. Either directly or indirectly caused me so many issues that it’s easier to just stay on my own.
I don’t want to stay on my own anymore, I want to be brave, standup to him and be happy again. I think it’s something I deserve after what I have put up with but I know that person needs to be strong, be able to understand me and what has happened and maybe why I’m such a closed book.
I find it hard to open up, let people in and be taken in by someone else again just incase my very fragile heart gets broken again.
I know this blog is all about surviving and that’s what I’m doing, it just takes some time and I hope you are all hanging on in there, still surviving xoxo