After my slight wobble last weekend I’ve come back fighting.
I was once told to try something, when I feel sad or something happens to upset me or make me angry I should try writing it down and putting it in a jar. Then when everything has calmed down go back to the jar and read what I wrote and see whether it all still matters.
There was a lot to write that weekend trust me but now, she’s home safe with me and behaving better than ever and suddenly all that anger and upset is gone. I never truly thought she was moving out with him and when I look back I knew all along it was just his petty games.
The hardest part is training myself not to let him get to me. He wants these little battles every so often and I wish I was more able to just nod my head, agree and walk away.
In hindsight that would have irritated him more, a narcissistic person hates not being in control and knowing they haven’t got to that person they way they’d have liked to.
It’s not always that simple and I know that but for now I’m content with how I feel. I’m not rising to his games or bullying anymore.
Still no news from the CPS regarding what will happen to him and I know I can’t quite move on with my life until I know and then I will work on putting it all to bed and being able to talk about it or look at him without the anxiety and sick feeling I get, I know I will get there.