Will they always get the better of us…

Having a bad day today.

I’ve not been blogging as much lately due to work and other personal commitments.

I came out of therapy this afternoon feeling a bit better about myself and the situation, I felt like I took two steps forward. That soon changed and I stumbled several steps back when my daughter received a phone call from her father.

He took it upon himself to place her in the middle of the two of us and began shouting and demanding to have her more. My daughter very quickly became quite upset and whilst in tears said “mummy I just can’t do this” at which point the phone was given to my mum due to him still not being allowed to contact me.

I know deep down I shouldn’t rise to it and let him bother me however it’s the hardest thing ever! I want to scream and shout at him, tell him how he’s making me and my daughter feel and I think this is added by the frustration by him still not showing any remorse for what he’s done, or even any recognition for what he’s done!

I hate myself for letting him be the cause of my bad day, it may well be added on to that fact I worked a long night shift lastnight and have had very minimal sleep so maybe I’m more sensitive to my feelings at the minute in my tiredness.

However how can we all be expected to be prefect and have good days everyday.

We’ve been through alot survivors so don’t forget it. We are more than entitled to have these days where we cry, shout or lock ourselves away and be alone. Hold your head high and move on to tomorrow because it’s them going to sleep at night with what they have done, it’s them that has to live with it forever, not us!

Author: wesurviveditall

twenty seven years old, survivor of an abusive relationship, mother to one brave, strong willed and loving little girl. Writing this blog for all those looking for answers or a way out, a little bit of reassurance that you can survive too.

2 thoughts on “Will they always get the better of us…”

  1. This is heartbreaking to read. I’m sorry that you are dealing with this. It’s infuriating to do so much for your child only to have someone like that use her as a weapon (sorry if that’s presumptuous, it just sounds like that’s what he’s doing). You’re 100% right, though, you’re entitled to scream, cry, rage, whatever you need to do. Just know who and what it’s all for. That girl is going to grow up knowing that her mom loved her and cared for her no matter what. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

    Liked by 1 person

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