Children playing piggy in the middle

As a child it was never a nice game, so why do parents make their children play that middle person.

No child should be used as a porn between parents. I love my daughter more than anything in this world, as much as I hate her father I know he is still her father and always will be. Who am I to deprive her of that, deprive her of love and affection from her father… I grew up with my parents seperated and never did I feel I had to chose. They never put us in the middle and I’m forever grateful for that.

Today my daughter had parents evening, I’ve always gone and he never has. Yesterday I took her to the hospital for an appointment and again he never goes. My daughter was born with a condition that has caused her to have many operations, 4 to be exact and I’ve lost count of all the check ups. Most of these being in London. A mere 30 miles from our home and I’ve taken her everytime, I’ve sat with her when she cried herself to sleep, I was the big bad mum that helped hold her down whilst they put my baby to sleep for these operations. He was nowhere to be seen.

Still I’m the bigger person, I allow him to have her when he wants. I buy extra uniform so he has enough for school at his house, I drop her off and pick her up. So many parents can’t do this, sometimes (and only where possible) parents need to swallow their pride and put their children first.

One day my baby will grow up, if I prevent her from spending time with her father she’ll resent me for it and I won’t allow him to make that happen.

She wants to change her surname, she makes comments about her father already and she’s only 7. I brush it off and never encourage any negativity towards him but clearly she isn’t silly.

I will stand by her when she is old enough and if she realises the monster he really is, I will comfort her and protect her if it’s what she wishes but never will I force her to feel the way I feel about him.

I decided to leave, I decided I wanted a different life and I know it’s best for her but she’s only little she doesn’t.

Author: wesurviveditall

twenty seven years old, survivor of an abusive relationship, mother to one brave, strong willed and loving little girl. Writing this blog for all those looking for answers or a way out, a little bit of reassurance that you can survive too.

2 thoughts on “Children playing piggy in the middle”

  1. I’m actually on the other side of this fence. My kids have decided that I’m the monster and want nothing to do with me. Even though she was the abuser, I would never want the kids to shut her out like this. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.


  2. This makes me really sad, it doesn’t matter whether your a mother or father no-one has the right to take a parent away from a child. I hope your children grow up to realise this and love you, I’m sorry that your missing out on parts of their life it’s very unfair x


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