It’s so easy to look back and think how did I not notice? It’s so easy for others to judge and believe you stay because you want to or its your own fault maybe.
No-one else is to blame in all of this, that’s part of the abuse. Emotional abuse to make you believe you made them do it, you made them angry or you asked for it. I’ve heard them all before.
Did you really ask for it though? Did you intentionally meet someone and fall in love with someone you knew was going to abuse you? Thought not.
Was anything you ever did or said deserving of the treatment he/she gave you? Thought not.
None of this is your fault, each and everyone of us survivors realises at a different point, some very early one and some stay for years and years before enough is enough.
Your survival rate is 100% remember that.
You lost yourself to him or her because your a good person, all you did was love someone and let them in. The rest was down to them, how they groomed and manipulated you into who they wanted you to be. A shadow of yourself was an easier target than the strong and independent person you are now and there is absolutely no shame in that.
Be kind to yourself and remember it’s not your fault ❤